Some Additions to the E-System

SAM SCHECTMAN // SEPTEMBER 27, 2019

The E-System is the best. It’s the creme de la creme of deciding how people should go to the bathroom. There are some great things about the E-System, such as making it so everybody can go to the bathroom and having a big E on the door. However, I’d like some more specifications beyond just “Men” (what?), “Me, myself, and I” (who’s that?), and “Women” (is this a joke?). Here are some of my ideas:

 

  • You cannot use the empty shower stall directly next to me, but may use the empty shower stall one spot over: Take a second E and tape it up an appropriate distance from the first.

  • I’d only like those who know the password to enter the bathroom: Tilt the sign to the angle of the specific password you would like to use. Password angle guides are given in the student handbook that everybody has and reads every day. Oh, you don’t have it? That’s weird, I guess nobody wanted to give it to you.

  • I am having a smelly poo so please factor that into your decision to enter: Dude that’s gross! What the hell! Don’t tell people that! Stop it!

  • I’m studying for my physics class while I’m on the toilet and I want everyone to know what a smartypants I am: Make a second sign that says “=mc2” and place it next to the E.

 

If you want to alert people to another common bathroom situation that isn’t on this list, make sure to write a detailed description on the back of the E-System sign on your bathroom.

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