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Security Notebook

For the week of March 2

By Räbo Birch | gbirch@oberlin.edu | March 9, 2018 @ 3:52 pm
Tuesday, February 27th

12:44 PM: Safety and Security officer assisted student who received second-degree burns from Stevenson dining hall plates.

3:14 PM: Safety and Security received reports of a student in Wilder bowl stripping naked and professing their thanks to Apollo for the blessing of sun. (72 degree day)

 

11:33 PM: Student was found puking on first floor of Fairkid due to consumption of homebrewed kombucha.

Wednesday, February 28th

1:58 PM: Officers responded to Décafe stampede for last ciabatta roll resulting in one student being trampled.

6:23 PM: Stevenson dining hall staff reported a student falling into the abyss of the silverware chute while putting away dishes. An investigation to find and retrieve the student is ongoing.

Wednesday, February 28th

1:58 PM: Officers responded to Décafe stampede for last ciabatta roll resulting in one student being trampled.

6:23 PM: Stevenson dining hall staff reported a student falling into the abyss of the silverware chute while putting away dishes. An investigation to find and retrieve the student is ongoing.

Thursday, February 29th

1:24 AM: Mudd staff reported a student emerging from circulation desk cabinets and asking for the date.

3:13 PM: Safety and Security officers assisted a student found in the arb after drunkenly attempting to dive into the still frozen pond.

9:45 PM: An alumnus reported the theft of their bike, which was left unlocked, from the racks outside South Hall in the spring of 2011.

Friday, March 2nd

4:25 PM:  Faculty reported discovering environmental science students growing cannabis plants in AJLC ‘Living Machine’. The plants have an estimated street value of $20,000.

6:50 PM: Safety and Security officers responded to reports of a student attempting to leave Stevenson dining hall with a fountain machine: when asked, student said it was “for the pregame.”

Contact contributing writer Räbo Birch at gbirch@oberlin.edu.