Happy Valentine’s day xoxo
By Maya Denkmire
Describe your ideal first date:
A walk in the arb, possibly stargazing
Afternoon coffee at Slow Train
A concert at the Sco
Attending the annual Walleye Festival of Port Clinton, Ohio
Which of my current favorite songs is really speaking to you right now? (i’m sorry if none speak to you but it is my quiz so please just choose nicely.)
Gentle Hour - Yo La Tengo
Good Will Hunting - Black Country New Road
No More Virgos - CMAT
Borders - M.I.A.
What is your favorite planet?
Where would you live under the sea?
In a colorful coral reef
Inside of a sea anemone
Camouflaged under the sand
In the dining room of a wrecked ship
Which animal would you share your home under the sea with?
How would you get rid of the animal you were sharing your undersea home with if you found out it had betrayed you?
Bury it deep in the sand
Lock it out of your shared home and let nature run its course
Read aloud a list of things you hate about it until it disintegrates into sea foam
How would you cope with the guilt of murdering your undersea best friend?
Wander the ocean silently and aimlessly for the rest of your life
Think about something else
Try to find another, more loyal version of it
Dress up a shell to look like your deceased friend and talk to it as if it was alive
Mostly A’s: Art Library
Just like the art library, your love life is a cozily-furnished place to be. I would not be surprised if you have a long term partner or at least a close friend to whom you are unnaturally devoted. You and your beloved are likely the type to lie intertwined in a variety of locations (for example: velvety green couch, strangely loud beanbag, between moving bookshelves) and make those around you flinch (either with discomfort or jealousy) at your open display of intimacy.
Mostly B’s: Mudd
I’m gonna be honest, things are looking a little bleak for you. Amidst the interconnected and infinitely complex web of hookups, breakups, and whatnots that sprawls across Oberlin’s campus, you have lost track of what you are looking for (much like one loses track of their favorite study spot in the winding and identical bookshelves of Mudd.) Perhaps you were initially craving someone who finds joy in the simple things, like watching active construction sites, or an intellectual who can teach you the Dewey Decimal system, but whatever it was, you have long since forgotten. My advice? Retrace your steps. Maybe there’s a reason you can’t get that special someone out of your mind.
Mostly C’s: Science Library
I’m just going to come right out and say it. This library is best after dark. The contrast between the dark outside and the warm yellow glow of the lamps inside gives the science library a cozy feeling reminiscent of snow days of yore. I’m guessing you have spent a lot of time in various dorm rooms staring out dark windows, if you know what I mean. I’m glad you are having your fun, but remember that the ceiling-high windows in the Sci Li give excellent light during the day. Maybe you should try sticking around till the morning once in a while.
Mostly D’s: Oberlin Public Library
All around the city of Oberlin is hidden a series of Scrabble tiles in increasingly obscure locations. Once you have found and collected each and every tile, a spirit will appear to you in the form of a three-legged dog and whisper to you a riddle whose answer holds the key to rearranging the letters into a cohesive order. The message spelled out by the letters will reveal to you the current location of your true love. Go, quickly, and find them. Time is running out.