by Flip Ptarmigan
Baby Grand Enthusiast
By now, many of you will be familiar with the newest addition to Azzies, Oberlin’s much-beloved library coffee shop — a full-size baby grand piano! Nestled against the wall in Azzies’ oft-neglected periodicals section, this three-legged music-maker is a welcome addition to campus’s favorite study space.
You may worry — wait, if it’s only a baby grand piano, is it as resonant as your typical piano? Well, worry not, because despite its size, Azzies’ new piano boasts a headache-inducing volume, sure to interrupt both your studies and your conversations no matter their decibel.
When the live piano performance mingles with the already-playing Azzies’ playlist — now that’s music to my ears. As everyone who’s ever been witness to this phenomenon will tell you, these two sources of music always mesh perfectly, creating a medley fit for a choir of angels.
So, if you agree with me about the virtues of the new Azzies piano, sign my petition to put MORE pianos in Azzies! If we gather enough signatures, we can replace every booth with a baby grand — maybe someday, we can even get an upright behind the counter! With your help, we can make it absolutely impossible to study in Azzies at any time of day. If you want to start getting your straws & silverware from under the lid of a Steinway & Sons, email me at email@example.com, and I’ll get your electronic signature on that baby.