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By Flip Ptarmigan

Carbonation connoisseur

When I came across the panoply of new Bubly flavors in my favorite Bubly cooler in Decafe Market, I couldn’t believe it. Where I had previously believed that the Bubly empire had no legal claim to anything other than grapefruit, I came to understand that things like Orange Cream, Coconut Pineapple, and yes, even Lemon Sorbet can also be bubbly. Mind thus broadened, I embarked on a mission to discover the other flavors that Oberlin College is hiding from us. Here are a few of the Best of Bubly:

Clementine Strings (Just the Strings)! Bubly

Legally Distinct Dr. Pepper Bubly

Bratwurst Bubly

Water Bubly (the only sparkling water that closely approximates the taste of water)

Opaque Bubly

Pesto Mayonnaise Bubly

Tea You Forgot About In Your Travel Mug For Three Weeks Bubly

Elton John Bubly

Mysterious Ashes Bubly

The Bitter Tang of Grad School Rejection Bubly

Soup Beans Bubly

Bubly Bubly (the only sparkling water that closely approximates the taste of Bubly)

Peeps Bubly

Thick Bubly

After much investigation, I was able to distill the rest of my findings into the following chart:

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