By Juli Freedman
Bad Habits Editor
[originally published June 2021]
As students flock back to campus to take their boring ass non-experiemental classes, the Experimental College (fondly known as Exco) provides a treasure trove of student-led educational experiences for the curious minds of Oberlin. To get familiar with this whole Exco shebang, we highlighted a few of the courses offered this summer.
If you thought Mancala was for the dainty lil damsel in distress, well shit bitch you’d be wrong! In this No Girls Allowed exco, you will learn how to play Mancala in a way that honors your man powers! You will perfect such techniques as the blue balls stone scoop, the goth girl wrestlemania power punch, and the hey I love taking long walks alone at night triple toss. This course will require a $500 fee for lifting equipment, steel helmet, and some state of the art boards and pieces. So the next time someone says “hey isn’t mancala a game for children and little bittches” you can say “It’s Man-Cala now motherfucker!” and sock ‘em in the mables!
The Third or Fourth Sex Related One
What is sex? Please someone tell me. I am four years old.
Party Tricks 101
Were you bullied for most of your childhood for being kind of ugly, and because of that, you felt isolated from kids your age? But now that you got hot you still don’t know how to interact with lifelong hot people at parties? Then we got the exco for you! Learn basic card tricks that will make others think “does he carry that deck of cards all the time just in case?” Or some quarter behind the ear magic that will make strangers scream “ew don’t touch me!” Maybe you will be more into making a box with your arms. You might just find yourself learning the classic Okay Somebody Dare Me To Eat Anything I Will Eat Glass For You Guys To Be My Friends Right Now. Join Today!
blah blah blah [insert slur] blah blah i love being skinnyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!
Okay try placing your tongue like this see what I am doing here do exactly what am doing now BLOW IN okay okay keep blowing in well try blowing out maybe hm try kind of making a little circle with your tongue I think you are almost there wait no you lost it how about top teeth over bottom now try the opposite are you sure you are blowing in hard enough I mean blowing out ugh I give up you probably have one of these genetic conditions were you can’t do it and for that i am so sorry.
Same syllabus as the following courses: Trumpet for Beginners, Being The Second Person to Hit a Bong but it is Your First Time Ever So The Person Teaching is Kinda Imcompetant, Suckin’ n’ [Redacted] with Your Partner
Is Benedict Cumberbatch hot?
According 99% of people who are also preeeetty psycho, the answer is *gag* yes. In this class we will explore how his face and personality actually make him pretty uggo. My qualifications to teach this course are the fact I have never seen a single movie or TV episode that he was in but when he appears in the photo I am just pretty put off. Interested in this course but it doesn’t fit perfectly in your schedule? Try applying to my other courses “So wait, do people actually find Tom Hiddleston attractive?” and “This Chris Evans guy also isn’t really giving me anything” and “Okay do these Marvel dorks just have bad taste (or am I more gay than dork)?”
How to Stop Taking Pictures of Your Friend’s Cat Perfect Little Butthole
It’s easy! Just stop it!
Update: As of 06/19/21, this course has been cancelled due to it being preeeetty impossible.