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Epic Winning vs. Epic Fail

by Teagan Hughes



Illustration by Julian Crosetto, Layout Editor

For as long as humanity has been as long as, we have been labeling objects and entities as “epic winning” or “epic fail.” However, not all objects or entities are worthy of such a distinct honor — nonentities, or non-epic-ies, if you will (if you won’t, that’s okay too). It’s time to separate the cream from the crop. Without further ado, we at The Grape present to you: the definitive list of things that are epic winning versus epic fail.

Epic winning

Epic fail

  • R (software)

  • Power pop

  • Glass-blowing

  • Model trains

  • Sloth, envy, lust, gluttony, greed, pride, and the other one

  • Mass market paperbacks

  • Vanity license plates

  • Beekeeping garb

  • Shoebox dioramas

  • The plastics class I took in middle school

  • Penny-farthing bicycles

  • Butternut squash

  • Helvetica

  • Crepe paper

  • No-show socks

  • Goodreads

  • Multi-surface cleaner

  • Elder-Beerman store

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