Notes from Halloweekend

GRETA GURTRUDESTEIN // NOVEMBER  9, 2018 

Editor’s Note: This piece was written several weeks before Halloweekend.

 

Ah yes, another Halloween come and gone at Oberlin. Another Wednesday spent trying fruitlessly to get into Halloween Splitchers, followed by a weekend of overhyped and ultimately unsatisfying partying. The Grape sent one of our reporters to document this year’s Halloweekend, and this is what they found:

 

First-Years Roaming in Packs

 

Making friends in college is tough. What better way to keep putting yourself out there than to pregame with half of your floor in Kahn before roaming Tappan Square in groups of 10 to 20, then entering a party just minutes before it’s busted in order to grab a quick squad pic or two with people you’ll likely never interact with again?

 

That Lax Player Desperate for an Excuse to Go Shirtless

 

We get it. You go to the gym. It’s 45 degrees outside. Look, chief, if reciting word for word the Wikipedia synopsis of Fight Club didn’t get you laid, this won’t either.

 

Someone from Scooby-Doo

 

I’m at a total loss as to why and how Scooby-Doo, of all things, became the hot Halloween costume this year, but the sad fact is that no matter how good you think your Mystery Machine costume is, there’s someone at the same party who’s doing it better.

 

Guy Literally Bursting at the Seams to Tell You About His Costume

 

Not interested in season 3, episode 2 of Community? Too bad, because this guy is here to tell you all about it. His costume is unrecognizable at first, but all it’ll take is 15 minutes of detailed background information and you’ll be roaring with laughter at his creative and iconic getup! (Note: this guy is often dressed in an obscure costume as a last resort—someone probably beat him to the last Pickle Rick costume at Walmart)

 

Six Different Politics Bros Dressed as Voting Ballots

 

Voting is important. Sure. But somehow these guys manage to give off the vibe that voting is also somehow some weird fucked-up play for social capital. Is there no better way of getting out the vote than by showing up a Halloween party with a costume that screams “Look at how democratically woke I am”?

 

Guy With No Costume Who’s Doing His Best But Not Quite Cutting It

 

There are some really cool, creative last-minute costume ideas to be had, but they’re certainly not being had by this guy. It’s not enough to throw on an Oxford shirt and tell people your costume is Kenyon Student, Jack (his name is always Jack).

 

Wannabe Sorority Queen With a Vaguely Problematic Costume

 

I can’t put my finger on it, but something about this costume just rubs me the wrong way. It’s nothing specific, really, but taken as a whole the thing just gives me the impression that the wearer could stand to go to another Power, Privilege and Oppression workshop before the next Halloween.


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