Hey Sis! Two Brown Quee(n/r)s Acting Up

Grindr, Elotes and Laying Pipe

By Balut Bussy and Cholula Love | heysis@theoberlingrape.com | March 9, 2018 @ 8:31 pm

How to meet new people? 

Grindr is a great scene, honestly the best way of meeting new people. There are so many faceless people that ask “swap pics?”, its wonderful. Jazz forum has really worked for me, hit up the Cat n the Cream for the “best type of men”. Also, the Grape contributors meetings I hear are AMAZING for meeting new people– honestly, they’re life changing (and every other week on Sundays at 3PM in Wilder). I am having a bit of difficulty with this answer because I am such a social person, I just be like “hey what’s up?” and that’s how I meet new people. But the issue really is with how to meet new people: on this campus people really think that apathy is cute. (Hmm, I think I went to school with Apathy in kindergarten!) Honestly, just treat people nicely. When you get your Lemon LaCroix at Azariah’s, ask them how their day was. Human to human contact is so special. Also, once you have these relationships, make sure to check in with people. If one of your squirrel friends suddenly is wearing clogs, check in with her and ask “Girl, are you okay? What is going on?” We gotta watch out for each other, stay safe out there. (Cholula Love)

How do I spice things up in the bedroom? Sexually?

So you know Mexican elotes, how you can put chili powder on it? It’s called Tajin, so basically you take some of that and put it under the foreskin and you’re good! Yea, I’ve found that you don’t even need condoms when you have foreskin, you just tie a knot with it and you are all set. Cholula here loves a good foreskin, she LOVES being tucked in at bed at night, she even keeps the cheese from the sheets for later. But basically, we think that bringing in any type of food works really well. Nothing like some fun with avocados, some grapefruit you know? The other day I had some man who had the audacity of bringing the carnitas from Agave to the bedroom! I was laying there, covered in meat drippings and he did not even bring me a towel to wipe myself off. It was embarrassing. (Balut Bussy)

I’m dating someone who is totally different from me on paper…but we really care about each other. He’s like not an “intellectual” at all and hasn’t gone to college, but is really knowledgeable and caring. Do you think we are too different to last after I graduate? lmk!!! Xoxo

Let’s unpack this. So basically, are you saying that you can’t be an intellectual if you didn’t go to college? Hmm, eyebrow raising. But we not trying to come for you. Let’s practice some call-in culture, holding our family accountable. Just because this person is from a “different” part of your life, doesn’t mean that they can’t contribute positively to your life. Does he lay pipe? Yes, maybe he’s a plumber, who cares, if you knows how to throw it down then it works. Call it blue collar….wait, are we still talking foreskin? (Balut Bussy)

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