YooHoo: The New YeeHaw

BROTHER GOOSE // APRIL 12, 2019

In the calendar year 2017, the truly cool were wearing cowboy hats. They accompanied this quirky accessory with beers, shirts unbuttoned too low, string lights in the background etc. With the start of the 2018 school year, the hat continued to gain momentum. And then, right when it was at its peak, a well-timed caption pointing out the correlation between the hat and campus social capital by Oberlin sophomore Anna Aubry catalyzed the decline of an institution. All of a sudden, tweets criticizing cowboy hats were in, but the hats themselves were not. We laughed at the trend, discreetly changed our profile pictures, leaned into it ironically. But when the dust cleared (cowboy pun) and the tweets too became played out, nothing was left to fill the void. Now how would we be able to tell who is cool, besides every other part of the way people present themselves and act?

 

Hey, what’s that?

 

On the horizon, a beacon of hope.

A mast, actually.

A...pirate mast?  

 

Who’s that standing in the bird’s nest?

It’s King Princess or Lily Rose Depp’s cousin or something, wearing a tricorn hat. I’m gonna say it: she looks hot. And that’s an accessible enough type of hat that now I will be getting one and wearing it a lot. Sorry, Butch Cassidy! Your days of string light photo ops are over! Pirate Booty cartoon pirate man? You’re up!

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