How NOT to Deal With the Cold
JASON HEWITT // FEBRUARY 22, 2019
Let me start this off with one of the biggest understatements you will read this year: The Ohio winter is no joke. There’s nothing but freezing air and grey skies to look forward to every single time you walk outside. Along with that, you have the usual snow, sleet, and freezing rain. All of it is trash to deal with, especially when you’re going to class. It is what it is, though. We chose to go to this school, so we have to deal with the disappointing weather that comes with it.
I’m not just here to complain about the weather, though. I’m here because some of my fellow Obies have lost their damn minds. Allow me to teach some of you how NOT to deal with the cold. Here’s my first teaching point: If I see you wearing a t-shirt in twenty degree weather, I’m just going to assume that you’re either a masochist or somebody who’s going through some rough shit. There’s no need to prove to anybody that you can “handle” the cold. That’s just asinine. This isn’t California where you can wear a t-shirt and shorts year round. The weather isn’t “testing” your toughness.
The second teaching point is that it should be a complete violation of the law to wear shorts in weather that is below the fifty-sixty degree range. I just need somebody to ask me why I saw somebody wearing a t-shirt and SHORTS just chilling in Tappan Square. It was literally eighteen degrees outside. Like, why? Why do you have to do this to yourself? If you’re an athlete who’s just walking back from a workout or practice, then I somewhat understand. I’m an athlete myself. I get it. You don’t want to go through the trouble of finding new pants to wear. However, it takes ten seconds at most to throw some sweatpants on. Love yourselves. For the folks who just aren’t used to the cold weather, please do better. Nobody is going to give you shit for wearing too much in the cold. You should be appropriately dressed for practice anyway. (Cough, my football teammates who don’t like wearing long sleeves during our practices, cough.)
My third teaching point: the bare feet... outside… in PUBLIC. That’s gotta go. We really have people out here looking like Frodo Baggins after making it to Mordor. It’s completely unacceptable and appalling to know that we have students whose feet look as crusty as the ground they are walking on. I don’t know what they are going through, but they have to get it together. Nobody wants to see those frostbitten toes. As funny as this may seem, it is a genuine concern of mine.
We have to do a better job of staying warm in the cold. In other words, we have to do a better job of not looking stupid. We haven’t even reached the third week of the semester yet, and I’ve seen more atrocious outfits for the cold than I can count on both hands. And that’s not even to mention all of the Obies who stand outside of parties when it’s less than forty degrees outside, the ones who act like it’s perfectly fine to chill in cold weather for the “aesthetic” of it all. Well, they can enjoy freezing while the rest of us can stay warm.
As a whole, we need to do better as Obies. We are better than this. We have to find a way to not look like idiots in the cold. It’s embarrassing.