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Ask Sally Salad 

SALLY SALAD // OCTOBER 11, 2019

 

In a new column for Bad Habits, Sally Salad, a new Decafe employee, answers questions from our readership about life, love, and balancing work and family. Write in with your questions to thegrape@oberlin.edu

 

Dear Sally, 

My partner and I have been together, happily, for three years now. We’ve never explored non-monogamy, but my partner has recently been expressing interest. All of the conversations we’ve had have been super positive, but I’m not sure I’m as ready to open our relationship up as my partner is. I don’t want to hold them back, but I’m also afraid of losing them. Should I put my foot down and risk resentment? Or go with it and see where it leads? I really need answers, Sally! 

Sincerely, 

Marcia T. 

 

ATTENTION OF CUSTOMER 008972: 

  • BASE:

    • KALE

  • TOPPINGS: 

    • CROUTONS 

    • FETA

    • OLIVES 

    • CHICKPEAS 

    • GRAPE TOMATO 

  • DRESSING: 

    • BALSAMIC VINAIGRETTE 

 

HAVE A NICE DAY!


 

Dear Sally, 

This week I had my first test of college. I’m in Geology 100, and even though I studied really hard for the test, I still got a D. I’m really worried about telling my parents. Before I left they told me if I didn’t get at least a 3.5 average, they’d be very upset. Do you have any tips for how I should break the news to my family? I can’t bear the idea of telling them over the phone, but maybe that’s the right thing to do? 

Best, 

Denise W. 

 

ATTENTION OF CUSTOMER 000674: 

  • BASE: 

    • SPINACH

  • TOPPINGS: 

    • SHREDDED CARROTS

    • KALAMATA OLIVES 

    • PARMESAN 

    • CHICKEN 

    • QUINOA 

  • DRESSING: 

    • RANCH

 

ENJOY YOUR DOSE OF DAILY FRESHNESS! 


 

Dear Sally, 

I’m writing to ask about my son. He’s not performing well in school, has few friends, and generally spends the night in his room as soon as he gets home, only coming out for dinner. We used to have such a nice relationship, but ever since he went through puberty and entered high-school, my wife and I don’t know how to get through to him. Last weekend, I dragged him out of his room to go run some errands with me, just to get him out of the house. It was difficult to get him talking, but after a few hours, he let slip that he’s dating someone online. They’ve never met in person, and she actually lives several states away. Do you have some advice on how to get a quiet child to open up, and start getting out there a little more? And what sort of support we can give him in this first “relationship”? Frankly, my wife and I are at a loss. 

Yours, 

Michael R. 

 

ATTENTION OF CUSTOMER 0002981: 

  • BASE: 

    • MIXED GREENS 

  • TOPPINGS: 

    • BELL PEPPERS 

    • PLUM TOMATOES 

    • GARLIC CROUTONS 

    • RED CABBAGE 

    • CUCUMBER 

  • DRESSING: 

    • HONEY LEMON VINAIGRETTE

 

ENJOY YOUR MEAL! 


 

Dear Sally, 

Forgive me for saying so, but I’ve noticed that a lot of your advice is very similar. I was going to write in to ask how I should explain to my kids that the family pet had passed away, but it seems like your responses are pretty rote. Sometimes I’m sure a good salad can be a nice pick-me-up after a tough day or a hard conversation, but it registered as a little out of touch last week when your advice to a man whose mother is showing early signs of Alzheimer's was “BASE: KALE, TOPPINGS: GRILLED CHICKEN, CORN, OLIVES, CROUTONS, DRESSING: GREEN GODDESS.” 

So I guess my question is: are you sentient? Or really just a robot that makes salads on command. If you don’t understand human emotion, why do you have a column? 

All the best, 

Cindy B. 

 

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