10 Things I Wish I Was Told as a Freshman

Advice from a graduating senior

HANNAH KELLY // APRIL 13, 2018 

1. Lone wolves can have fun.

I used to not go to events alone because I was worried the world would judge me as a social pariah. But honestly? Fuck the world. Live your life. Don’t have a date to the ‘Sco? Friend bailed on you last minute before the concert? Go with me, myself, and I. You’ll regret it if you don’t.

2. Quick N Delicious is quick and delicious.

It breaks my heart that I had never even thought of going to this restaurant (located just outside of downtown, next to the CVS) until this semester. A treasure hidden in plain sight. I have so little time left with you, but I promise we’ll make the most of it.

3. You may not get laid all the time (and that’s ok).

People made it sound like I would show up at college and a line of cute guys would form outside my door, trailing down the hall, winding round the corner, down that hall, and down the stairs. The only line like that is the sandwich line at DeCafe. The truth is, it may be extraordinarily difficult to find a person you want to have sex with at Oberlin. You may not find a person you want to have sex with at Oberlin. You may not want to have sex.  So don’t wait until senior year to buy yourself that vibrator or fleshlight. Sex will come eventually -- in the meantime, enjoy yourself.

4. LOCK YOUR BIKE

It WILL be that ONE time you leave your bike unlocked outside Dascomb for ten minutes that it gets stolen. Take it from the girl who had two bikes stolen. LOCK. YOUR. BIKE.

5. Skunks look a lot like cats in the dark.

Make sure that the feral cat you are about to try to pet is not actually a skunk.

6. (For Psych majors):  Learn SPSS

Study it, pay attention to it, practice it, take it out to dinner, make love to it if you have to. Because your journey with SPSS has ONLY BEGUN when you finish Research Methods II.

7. To everyone who will get rejected by the Creative Writing major: It doesn’t matter.

You can still write stuff.

8. People will hurt you and you will not understand why.

Someone--a friend, a significant other, a hookup--will turn out to be so awful it’s mind-blowing.  Don’t lose faith in humanity. There are good people. But there are also some really, really shitty people. You will not be able to make sense of their actions. You will not be able to change them. They won’t change for you. Just pack up your bags and walk away.

9. Oberlin may help you figure out what you want to do with your life.

But in all likelihood it will make you more confused.

10. Everyone is fucking confused.

After all, what is a liberal arts degree but a diploma certifying you have had multiple existential crises?

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