On Tuesday, November 30, the illustrious Lee Doren paid a visit to the Oberlin College campus to fill that small but important niche of conservative speakers intended to instill some sense of opinion-equilibrium in a mostly liberal student body. His topic of discussion couldn’t have been more apropos: “Resisting Leftist Indoctrination at College.”

In the grand tradition of the Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational, it’s: The Oberlin-themed Portmanteau Sidebar! The rules: take any word, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. 

I submitted this piece three full days after it was due and wrote half of it in my politics class. All week, I had meetings and workshops and classes and meal dates and papers to write and emails to compose and errands to run. I bullshitted writing, skimmed reading, was late to some classes, flaked on some obligations, and forgot to buy more deodorant. Overall, I promised to do for others and myself approximately twice the amount of work I’m capable of doing. I managed to keep my head above water, but just barely.

If you’re a Jew spending the holidays alone in the cold, warm a little with these delicious (and potent) weed latkes. They take a little time and attention to prepare right, but they’re well worth the wait. Be warned - these are a lot more exciting than your Grandma’s latkes.

Lady Gaga fascinates me.  After first hearing her debut single, “Just Dance” a little over a year ago I was not impressed.  A pop star, to me, is nothing without the impressive dancing abilities and posh fashion sense to sustain her image.   It’s the reason Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera continue to sell records while Jessica Simpson and Willa Ford have resorted to playing at county fairs and mall parking lots, respectively.  Listening to a new Lady Gaga song on the radio for the first time is thus pitifully boring; however, add false eyelashes, some go-go dancers, sequins, and a leotard and you have got yourself a smash single.  The Fame Monster is no different. 

Roland Emmerich makes movies about cataclysms and destruction and, well, not much else. His track record includes several commercially successful movies that depict human obliteration with numbers of casualties unrealistically disproportionate to those of actual disaster situations. Which is to say he kills people. En masse. His most recent film, 2012, is hardly an exception. In fact, quite the opposite. In this film, Emmerich kills nearly everyone. His chosen weapon is a blend of neolithic prophecy and unintentionally comedic science. This is a new type of disaster for Emmerich who has previously killed people by way of aliens (Independence Day), an immense lizard (Godzilla), and climate change/guilt about climate change (The Day After Tomorrow).

I must admit, I went to see Fantastic Mr. Fox with pretty low expectations. Wes Anderson’s genius and Roald Dahl’s genius are both awe-inspiring but are decidedly different, and I was skeptical that Anderson could mesh his own style with Dahl’s without making some serious sacrifices.

Let me first make one thing clear: I am a semi-closeted Twilight fan. Meaning, yes, I read the books, and, yes, I enjoyed them. I won’t go so far as to say I actually respect Stephanie Meyer or any aspect of her “literature,” but I did read all four novels at least twice and was pretty shamefully invested in the trashy plot twists. I would never, ever degrade myself by applying one of those disgusting fan terms that were clearly coined by a seventh-grade girl and her mother (i.e., Twihard, Fanpire) to my appreciation for the series, and I certainly don’t feel anywhere near as much rage for the debasement of adapting the written series into film as I do for, say, the Harry Potter novels and their horribly incomparable cinematic counterparts (bring that subject up with me sometime and we will talk for a long, long time).

First semester is drawing to a close. I’m almost halfway fucking done with being a freshman, and Oberlin has given me a lot to think about.

Gays and their supporters were dealt two crushing blows earlier this month when two bills to allow same-sex marriage, both supported by their respective state’s governors, were defeated in New York and Maine. Never fear, even if you’re disappointed by the results from Maine - there are still plenty of other places on earth where your disgusting alternative lifestyle will be legal, and they’re all pretty awesome places to live. Here are my predictions for the next five nations that will legalize gay marriage: